Testing My Patience

I have a friend, whom I'll call Roger, who is about ten or twelve years younger than me. He works as a handy-man and occasionally works for a trucking firm, loading and unloading trucks. But these are difficult economic times, and he doesn't have a lot or work, so he is behind on his rent. Fortunately, he has a very forgiving and understanding landlord, otherwise he'd be out on the street, and maybe homeless.

We've gotten together a number of times, usually to take a walk at the beach together. Afterwards I always offer to treat him to a meal and/or a drink, which he has difficulty accepting. As he says: "I have a problem with receiving gifts."

It's a common problem. Many others have it too, but it's not a problem I have. As I've written elsewhere, "If someone wants to give you money, or treat you in some other way, welcome it, open yourself to receiving their generosity, unless you really don't need it." Learning to open yourself to giving and receiving is part of the secret of flow, and of creating more abundance in your life.

The reason why I hang out with Roger is that we have a spiritual connection, a heart connection, and because he gives me a special gift: he tests my patience. How so? He is obsessive-compulsive, and his obsession manifests in an a particular way.

Whenever he gets into my car, he always leaves one leg outside the door while he bends forward, closes his eyes, rests his head on his hand, and breathes short, rapid breaths until his kundalini energy is 'just right,' and he can finally pull his leg in and shut the door, and we can drive off. This process can take a few minutes, or as long as ten minutes or more. Of course, the same thing happens when we get to our destination, and he goes to get out of the car!

Now, if I was the type who could be driven crazy, I would of course be driven crazy by this behavior! But I am a free man. I am awake, conscious. I live in the present. But, I am still very much a human being! So, I do get irritated, impatient with him, especially because this is not the only way his obsessive-compulsive behavior manifests.

Whenever he walks, he has to walk in a particular pattern, always clock-wise (I think!), and when he gets to a drive-way, he has to go back, or around it some way... I'm not quite sure, but I know I say to him a lot, "I'll just meet you at such-and-such a place!" And of course if it has been raining, he cannot walk over any wet ground, so that necessitates even more circumvention!

Why do I bother, you may ask? As I said, we have a heart connection. He is essentially a beautiful guy. When I pointed out to him the last time we got together that he spent much of his time preoccupied, and therefore wasn't really present with me, he denied it at first. But I explained myself. "You're preoccupied because you're always having to think about the route you're taking."

Then he got it. It was like an epiphany. It gave him something to really think about. I had offered, at the outset of our relationship, to help him, in whatever way I could, get free of his OCD.

Maybe this was a start.