Desire

Many spiritual paths talk about getting free of personal desires in order to find truth, to find “God.” Monks in various traditions deny themselves the normal pleasures and desires of the world, including and especially sexual desire, because they see it as a hindrance to inner freedom and union with God. As a result, many monks, priests, and nuns throughout history, being otherwise normal human beings, have burned inwardly with resistance, and struggled to overcome, their sexual desires, let alone their other desires—for power, possessions, intoxicants, or whatever. After decades of this inner struggle, many of them become dry and ascetic, shells of their former vital selves. I’ve met and known a few such monks and nuns myself. Fortunately, on this, the nondual path to awakening, there is no such exclusion of desire. Desire is still very much there—the desire for sex, for partnership and intimacy, for food and sleep, for a change of atmosphere or environment, or even to alter or expand your consciousness through the occasional use of alcohol or drugs. You still have your likes and dislikes, your preferences, but they don’t run you anymore. For example, if a desire arises to make love to your partner, and then it doesn’t happen because he or she says no, there’s no sense of frustration or disappointment. Or if there is, it is fleeting, and it falls away naturally. You’re always in the moment, and there’s always something new and interesting happening in every moment. The key thing to know about these normal, human desires is that they arise and fall away, just like everything else in life. So, the more awake and free you are, the less attached to your desires you are. If they can’t be satisfied right now, you are okay with that. After all, you are already established in your true nature, one with the ease, harmony, and flow of life. Understand this, and desire—any desire—will not be a problem.